Skip to main content

Mentor, Mentor, Who's Got A Mentor?

Who's Got A Mentor
If you've played sports, you have undoubtedly had a coach. But, what about not in sports? Have you had someone give you great advice not just from time to time, but for years? Well guess what? You had a mentor!

If you caught my blog about coaching last week, you'll know exactly where I'm going with this. Let's talk about how someone you value has been helping you and much more than just a coach. 

My Pops
This might sound familiar, but my dad has always been my mentor. If you have kids, you'll get the idea pretty quickly. The relationship between a father and a son or a mother and a daughter, or really any parental figure and the child is different than any other relationship. Some might even say it isn't mentoring when the people are that close to each other, but I disagree. 

While most children live with their parents until they're around 18 years old, there comes a time when the children become adults and move away. You may have experienced exactly what I'm talking about with your parents or maybe even a big brother or sister. But as we age, we start to think differently and sometimes we think we know it all. Yet, through all of these life experiences, your mom, dad, brother, sister, grandparents or friends were there for you. My dad was that person. 

After high school, I moved away from my dad and went to college. I would always make sure to call him once a week, typically on Wednesdays and many of those phone calls were mentoring opportunities. I'm sure some of those calls were attempts by my dad to make sure I was still alive and hadn't found my way to the hospital. During college and even afterwards, my dad continued to provide lasting advice that I still remember (at least some of it) to this day. There have been a lot of people in my life that I might consider a mentor, but the number one will always be the person who started mentoring me when I was wearing Huggies.  
Find a Mentor
Step one in finding a mentor is to look in your phone! You probably already have a mentor and you just don't know it! Well, that might be a stretch. But really, look in your phone. Who is the person you talk to most? Do you call, text, email, send smoke signals or in some way communicate with a lot? This person might be a mentor, but let's find out if that is actually the case through an experience I had mentoring someone. 

After I had graduated college, I joined the alumni association at my alma mater. Soon enough, I was elected to the board of directors for the alumni association and had many fun and rewarding experiences coaching students. There was one student named Josh that was of particular interest and he became my protege. Josh was an outgoing, smart and fun guy. He had a lot of things going for him, but he felt like something was missing. He really didn't know what he wanted to do at college, except for party. Josh and I struck up a conversation one day after meeting at an event and it turned into great mentorship. As weeks turned into months, Josh and I were talking a lot and meeting up on campus for events the alumni association was sponsoring. Josh asked a lot of questions and I happily gave him a lot of answers. Sometimes he didn't like what I was telling him, but I could tell it made sense to him. Those months turned into years, many years and now Josh, who lives in The Netherlands still turns to me for advice. 

Mentoring And The Lasting Impression

The feeling I get when donating money at church, helping my children do their homework, volunteering in my city and talking with Josh on the phone are all very different. The time I've spent helping Josh understand the big picture of life and to stop sweating the small stuff is sometimes a lot more rewarding than any of the other examples I've listed. I feel like I've given someone the opportunity to see color for the first time in their lives and it isn't through rose colored glasses. Mentoring has made a lasting impression on me. Now, who is out there looking for you? 
Marques Thomey
September 17, 2019

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Marques

  Dear Marques, You’ve continued to gain a lot more knowledge of leadership, the foundational approaches using different aspects from the elements of theories, and a profound appreciation for senior leaders. The question before you today is – what will you do to get back to the mountain top? Your Personal Vision You’ve stated that your personal vision is “to be happy as much as possible” (Thomey, 2021, p. 2). We both know that you were at your best when you were happiest. Whether on the mountain top or not, you brought out the best in yourself when you were happy. You need to find a way to get back to that place so everything else can fall into place. Three Learning Goals In order to accomplish your personal vision, you must establish three learning goals with milestones so that you have a plan and a pathway for getting this done. Your first goal should be to reengage with the Dale Carnegie group for continuing education classes. I know you found this group to have a tra...

Consequentialism vs Deontology

  Consequentialism vs Deontology Is it a glass half-empty or a glass half-full? It appears to me that what separates consequentialism and deontology is perspective. LaFollette (2007) writes that consequentialists must explain which consequences we should count, how much weight or consideration we should give those that do count, and how we should use these considerations when deliberating (p. 25). However, deontology is usually regarded as a foil to consequentialism ( Heinzelmann, 2018, p. 5201). What I find as the takeaway from this situation is that consequentialism isn’t necessarily grounded in morality, whereas deontology finds itself in a set of negative rules. As LaFollette points out with consequentialism, we must look at and use several dimensions to understand and consider what are the consequences of a situation. Deontology doesn’t require this additional gate check, but instead relies on our experience learning right and wrong from the negative perspective. Much like a...