Deception

Deception

As children, we learn that lying is not acceptable. We’re taught at an early age that we must grow into upright, truthful citizens in order to be successful. In many instances, we learn from religion that a higher power doesn’t want us to be dishonest. However, later in life, we learn that deception is a key element to many parts of life and in small and specific instances, it is acceptable. Deception of some kind is an inherent part of human interaction (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001, p. 189). I have learned that being honest and authentic is one of the most important parts of who I am, and it is part of where I get my power of positivity. I don’t feel that I could be deceitful and carry on being positive.

Deceptions in negotiations

There are so many examples of people using deception in negotiations, it is easy to find in nearly all areas of life. Whether it be in the courtroom, the boardroom or schoolroom, we find ourselves being subjected to or using deception to get results in our favor. Although guilt and remorse may restrain negotiators from lying in egregious situations, most people readily justify their own use of deception, and work to avoid feeling guilt and remorse both prior to and after using deception (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001, p. 193). In order to protect ourselves from deception, there are four actions we can take.

Before the negotiations begin, we can prepare by considering the setting we’re walking into. Taking a moment to complete a mental checklist in our heads of things we need to look for includes if the meeting will be face-to-face, on the phone or video conference. In each case, there are specific things to look for. Obviously, being able to see the person you’re negotiating with is helpful because you can look for nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, body language and more. In the case of a phone meeting, we’d need to pay more attention to voice patterns, utterances and pauses in speech. Understanding the setting before we begin negotiating sets the stage for us to know what aspects of the other person we need to keep a close eye on.

During the meeting, we can ask direct questions, which can make it more difficult for a person to be dishonest. One study found that subjects were significantly less likely to lie when asked a direct question (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001, p. 197). This doesn’t complete prevent deception, but it can limit it. During the meeting we can also pay attention to nonverbal cues, which can give away more about the other person’s position than verbal cues. As I mentioned, nonverbal cues include many attributes, such as respiration, perspiration, changes in skin color and an increase or decrease in body movement. Looking for these things during the meeting will help us reveal if someone is lying to us.

After the meeting we need to manage our reputation by treating people how we’d like to be treated. If we develop a personality in which people think we’re always lying to them, there is no reason for them to not do the same to us. As part of this, we should also take the opportunity to call someone out for lying. If we reinforce lying is bad and has negative consequences, it could lead to less people being deceitful.

Examples of deception in negotiations

I think it is safe to say that we’ve all had the wool pulled over our eyes. I recently worked with an airline to establish a new lease agreement with and they told me they wanted enough square footage to meet our standards to be a signatory airline. However, after the negotiations and when we were ready to sign, they informed me they no longer wanted the space because another airport was offering better rates. In the end, the airline played us against another airport, and we lost. When I reflected on this situation and the loss of the revenue, I realized I miscalculated my position. I assumed that this airline was working in good faith and I didn’t assess the underlying uncertainty by asking more direct questions. We tend to be overconfident in our ability to detect deception and often prefer not to consider the possibility that we are being deceived as we negotiation and make important decisions (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001, p. 189).

On the other side of the coin, I recently misled someone because I didn’t want to do the work. Last week, a neighbor down the block was putting in a patio by hand. Rather than use gravel, he just used the dirt in his backyard, which made it much more difficult to do. I was not interested in doing more back-breaking work, as I had just done my own landscaping the day before. So, I lied to him by saying I had school work to do. However, that was not the case, as I had my work wrapped up two days beforehand. The decision to lie to my neighbor didn’t come lightly, as I believe in telling the truth, but my back and body was so sore, I couldn’t bring myself to help him. He didn’t push me or beg for my help. Had he, I would have most likely gone over there to help. Managers often have an incentive to lie (Hoch, Kunreuther, & Gunther, 2001, p. 188). In this instance, my incentive to lie was because my body couldn’t take it.

References

Hoch, S., Kunreuther, H., & Gunther, R. (2001). Wharton on making decisions. New York: Wiley.