Emotional Intelligence

 

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is used through four dimensions, which can help, or hinder career performance. The four EI dimensions are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills. There isn’t a day that goes by in which I’m not using one of these dimensions, because they’re so intertwined with everything else in my life. “Emotional intelligence enables leaders to deal with their own internal responses, moods, and states of mind” (McKee, et al, 2008, p. 26). I must use self-awareness from a foundational perspective. Self-awareness allows us to understand how we’re being viewed by ourselves. If I wasn’t aware of my actions, how would I know what I’m doing, acting, and saying? Self-awareness can give you a realistic evaluation of what you can do with your skills. Self-management is where we put ourselves ahead of everything else. If one morning I wake up and decided that I stopped caring about what I wanted to learn, or be open to development, I would be losing out on opportunities to manage what I do. Self-management focuses on conscientiousness, and whether or not I have the initiative, and control necessary to get the job done. Social awareness is important, because its another chance to be aware of how I’m acting around other people. Social awareness is viewed by society, collectively, and as an individual. It allows us to take the temperature of the room, so that we can understand the direction, and decisions that need to be made. This can also be boiled down to one question: do I fit in? Social skills are a skill just like any other. But this skill is important because it shows how well we fit in and perform with my social bodies. Social skills are those that give us the ability to communicate with others, get people to believe in, and follow us, as well as resolve conflict when it arises.

EI and me

“Competencies related to emotional and social intelligence – not IQ, college degrees, or technical experience – are the single most important factors in distinguishing great leadership from average leadership” (McKee, et al, 2008, p. 26). I feel that my EI is as good as its been in a long time. That isn’t to say that I haven’t had my moments where I needed to do a better job, correct my behavior, or get a reset on some days. I think we all need that from time to time. My greatest strength is social awareness, because I can read a room, understand the key players, and know when to speak, or shut my mouth. This is important, because even though you may be the best at self-awareness, self-management, or social skills, if you can’t understand the environment you’re in, almost everything else is pointless in that moment. For instance, when I have a big meeting with senior leadership, I make sure to look at every person in the room, understand their body language, eye contact, who they’re speaking with, who they’re paying attention to, and also who is seated with who. All of these actions have led me to successfully navigate a business meeting because I knew who was engaged, and who wasn’t. Where I could improve is with my self-management. All too often I fail to put myself first, which we know leads to other problems. I must do a better job at taking care of myself, which is easier said than done. If I’m not using better self-management practices, like a house of cards, it can all come tumbling down. For example, if I’m not healthy, then I’m not capable of performing at my best. If I’m eating poorly, not exercising, not taking time to reflect, I will be as useless as I was 20 years ago. Young, naïve, and pathetically outmatched by my competition. That is simply not a direction I’m willing to go to again.

References

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.